Paradox … Enigma

I have an active disease and need medication to stay alive. The disease is ANCA Vasculitis  and the medications are prednisone, a steroid and Rituxan a cancer treatment medication.  The Vasculitis was first officially diagnosed in June 2021 after a kidney biopsy. December 2021 I went into remission possibly only due to medications, Prednisone and Rituxan. Doctors don’t know what caused the disease. They don’t know what brought it back. They know, profess to know, and or just accept that medications are the reason. I have to believe that too. It’s been my experience. So I’m back to this treatment plan Prednisone and if that’s not enough a 6 hour slow IV of Rituxan.  

But there are side effects:

PREDNISONE:

Fluid retention 

High Blood Pressure 

Problems with mood swings, memory, behavior, confusion, delirium 

Upset stomach 

Weight gain with fat deposits in your abdomen, face (moon face), and back of neck

Elevated pressure in your eyes (glaucoma)

Clouding of the lens of your eyes ( cataracts)

High Blood Sugar (diabetes)

Risk of infection 

Thinning bones

Suppressed adrenal gland hormone production that may result in a variety of signs and symptoms, including severe fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea, muscle weakness

Thin skin, bruising, slower wound healing

I’ve experienced fat deposits in neck and face and abdomen and need medically prescribed calcium and magnesium 

. . .

RITUXAN

Can result in serious, including fatal, infusion related reactions within 24 hours 

Severe mucocutaneous reactions, including fatal reactions

Progressive multi focal leukoencephalopathy (PML) including fatal PML

For god’s sake it’s enough, right.  Why go through it: just live with the consequences of the life you’ve chosen.  

Ah, yes. But there’s nothing like another day.