Diorama

Jim walking around isn't happening much these days because of the shutdown in NYC due to the Coronavirus.  So I have this idea taken from my friend, Jim Ferris, who used to build dioramas.  He had one, I vividly remember, of a general store that you might see in a 1940s hollywood western, maybe 14" by 18", very impressive.
So I'm thinking since I'm not walking around in real time I'd experiment and build my personal diorama, similar to something you'd see in the American Museum of Natural History but imagined,  something to 'walk around in'.

Dioramas originated in France in the 1920s and meant literally 'through that which is seen'.  So I'll try through a photograph to build a verbal diorama of what is seen.  Flesh it out.
Let's start with this one of me:

First Holy Communion, 7 years old, 1951, Eisenhower in the White House, Joe McCarthy in the Senate, War in Korea, Jim Crow in the South and myself, parents, Sister and Brother in the Bronx.  I was in the 3rd grade at Holy Spirit Grammar School.  A small grammar school, 16 classrooms two for each level.  The church more like a chapel was downstairs.
We had just moved to the Bronx to live and work as superintendents for a 10 apartment building complex. 
Some observations from the photo.  There were lots of parking spaces available in 1951.  No graffitti, maybe a little trash or else I've got something related to the day hanging on my arm. I think trash but it's odd and odd framing for a photo but who thought about such things then in our world.  The sun is in my eyes; probably a brownie camera and maybe that was the best way to get a bright picture or maybe he or she just thought it was the best way.  It was probably my Mom taking the picture.  She was much more interested in memories and sharing.
That boy, if he were not facing the sun would most definitely be smiling.  He's very religious and this is the biggest day in his religious life.  He's happy, shy, keeps to himself.  He can't say why yet but he feels different or more accurately he senses from others that he's different.  Soon they'll tell him why and how he's different and the diffidence will grow.  But this day he's happy.

brooding

Small b.  It's of such little importance yet it's a big part of everyone's life.  When we say we are thinking we're not working on or particularly interested in nuclear fission.  We're thinking about  ourselves and what happened or didn't happen; what we did or didn't do.
Erik Erikson would say that's perfectly healthy to do.  To think about what happened and what was or wasn't done, perfectly healthy especially at my age but you need to come to a resolution to move on. 
In his 'Stages of Development' he divided the stages into 4 parts, your age, conflict, resolution, culmination.
My age which he labeled '65 to death'.

[Yeah, he was a German scientist.  He couldn't say 65 to everlasting life.]

My conflict is integrity vs. despair, the resolution is wisdom and the culmination is existential integrity; a sense of integrity strong enough to withstand physical disintegration.
In other words: Older adults need to look back on their lives and feel a sense of fulfillment. Notice he said we need to.  All his stages have to be resolved before you can move on fulfilled.

In adolescence one of his more frequently referenced stages; the work or the conflict is identity vs. diffusion.  You need to develop a sense of self and personal identity.  Success is staying true to yourself.  Failure leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self; what Erickson referred to as prolonged adolescence.  The teenager tests different roles and integrates them to form an identity separate from others.
 
I think it was the news reports of despair, especially, among health care providers that got me on this road. 
There are things in our control 
What's not in our control does not define us. 
I suspect we as a nation do not have strong egos  We lack a strong sense of our personal worth.  We take on failure as our own. 
Our first responders are despairing over their inability to do their jobs.
Publicly we need to place the blame where it belongs for everyone to see. 
Some of our political leaders with strong egos are beginning to do that.  Thank you Governor Cuomo.
Like a good American: I want more!
       

On a positive note

The air in New York City is so much cleaner:

Journaling through the pandemic

It's a great stay in place activity.  Did I mention I am here in New York City, the current epicenter of the U.S.A. pandemic?  So I'm mindful of cleanliness and staying a safe distance.  I have also been going out because I wanted sunlight for Vitamin D and I thought Ultraviolet light killed viruses.  There is no clinical study that I could find that said UV light killed all viruses or Covid 19.  One survey showed it increased the herpes virus. 
What is important about sunlight?  It raises our immune system and that's a good thing now.
So I got some sun at Washington Square Park.  Not crowded, quiet, and sunny!

Outrageous Facts and Thoughts

I have said our first case of coronavirus in the U.S. was January 21.  Now I hear it was January 20 the same day as the first case in South Korea.  Then it's said that that first case was a traveler from another country.  So our first, real, honest, true case is the case that is the result of community spread, home grown.  I've lost track of that date.

He admits he grabbed women by the pussy.  He had sex with another woman while his wife was pregnant.  He paid a porn star to keep quiet about their affair.  He believes Putin and not our own intelligence agencies.  He stared at an eclipse without eye protection.  He put his daughter and son-in-law in charge.  He gave his son-in-law a top secret clearance against the advice of experts.  He calls the press the enemy of the people.  He calls women nasty.  He mocks the disabled.

Stephanie Ruhle, anchor at MSNBC, worked 14 years in the finance industry in hedge fund sales before joining Bloomberg News.  She is on the air five days a week for an hour.  Today I heard her ask if the coronavirus will prevent food delivery to our supermarkets?  Then she said 'we'll be right back after these words from our sponsor'.

People in Spain are sleeping on hospital floors.  Doctors and nurses in Italy are dying.  2 trillion dollars,  30,000 ventilators, moratorium on student debt,  bailout Boeing,   500 billion for the airline and hotel bailout,     80% of those selling stocks that crashed the market are 10% of the stockholders.
That was yesterday.  Stay tuned for an update.

'Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval.  Social progress can be measured by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included.'
Karl Marx

'It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning'
Henry Ford

RIP Terrence McNally

The first victim to the Corona virus that I have a distant attachment to is Terrence McNally.  I saw his play 'Frankie and Johnie in the Claire de Lune' many years ago.  It was brilliant with an extraordinary performance by Kathy Bates.  I've seen 13 of the ones listed below and I enjoyed them all. He is honored as America's first major openly gay playwright.  He wrote the first openly gay, positive, confident, character in his Broadway play 'And Things That Go Bump in the Night' in 1964.  Some other notable works:
Plays:
The Ritz
It's Only a Play
The Lisbon Traviata
Lips together, Teeth Apart
Love! Valour! Compassion!
Master Class
Corpus Christi
Deuce
Musicals:
The Rink
Kiss of the Spider Woman
Ragtime
The Full Monty
The Visit
Chita Rivera: The Dancer's Life
Catch Me If You Can
Anastasia
Three films of his plays, four original operas, and four TV shows.
He is survived by his husband Tom Kirdahy.

I just think these Paul Cadmus paintings would have inspired Terrance McNally.

Making a to do list

Yeah, well, so Jim's not walking so much these days.  I do try to get out for some fresh air but it's not to a show, museum, movie, brunch, restaurant, Macy's, church, gym, park, or happy hour.  It's around the block, actually.  So now I have the opportunity to work on my space.  You know clean [cleaning lady isn't coming anymore] laundry [until I find a laundromat that's open {isn't that an 'essential' business in NYC}] ... 'and such like' to quote Miss South Carolina. 
I started today on the kitchen.  I loaded and started the dishwasher.  I cleaned my tea kettle [boiled vinegar in it] and then I went to the computer.
It's the coronavirus world and day whatever of the Coronavirus worldwide [don't know for sure because China immediately put in a gag order and has not been completely honest].  For us here in the U.S. it started on Jan. 21, 2020 with our first confirmed case, the day after South Korea's first confirmed case.  Three months later in the U.S. we're doing 15 days of a kind of shutdown [each state and municipality is different].  Got about a week left.  Then our President will decide if it's back to work or continue some kind of shutdown.
Within a week of South Korea's first case their president ordered the manufacture of test kits and they tested.  They found; locked down and isolated areas of contagion.  When someone tests positive they contact trace.  Anyone who had contact with an infected person was isolated and monitored.  They educated the public on preventative measures, such as social distancing, washing hands, avoiding groups of people and they monitored.
To do #1 Intervene fast before it's a crisis
To do #2 Test early, test often, test safely
To do # 3 Contact tracing, isolation and surveillance
To do # 4 Educate and enlist the public's help
Have we clicked off any of those on our to do list?  Mr.President!